1. The mother should not be charged with desertion. Or more accurately, yes, under the current rules, she DID technically desert, but this rule needs to be modified for this day and age for these kinds of situations. Hopefully this case can be the catalyst for change.

2. As I see it, she can't choose to raise her son AND serve her country in the military the way it is currently set up. If she signed up for the military before she got pregnant, she should have been aware that this might happen if she were to become a single mother. Again, there probably needs to be some clause to be able to get an honorary discharge for a situation like this. BTW, I'm sure people are going to jump all over me for saying you can't be a single parent and serve in the military at the same time. I just don't think you can take the gamble of signing up and just hope you're not going to be deployed. It's not fair to your kid or the military.

3. The grandmother has to be some kind of whackadoodle for choosing to care for other people's kids over her own grandson. I mean, come on. Tell one of the daycare kids' parents you have to cut back on enrollees. That part of the story is nutty.

I'm going to climb out on a huge limb here and say that moms/women CAN'T "have it all," contrary to popular belief. Sometimes you have to make choices.

"Make sure to secure your own oxygen mask before attempting to help others."---The Airlines

Ok. I served in the Navy. I did not have children while I was in. I talked to many women on my ship who got pregnant to get out of heading into a war zone. I have no patience for that kind of behavior. Women sign the same contract men do. Honor it.

She had plenty of time to arrange for care and or get help. The military does not leave it's families hanging in the wind. If all else failed she could apply for a hardship discharge before it got to this point. She got a lawyer and went to the press in hopes of not ending up in prison for desertion. The story stated 30,000 other single parents have deployed with plans in place. It's her job. She knew the deal going in.

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Failure to live up to her military commitment.

DH knows roughly when his next deployment will be and he had that information less than two months after getting back from his last one. Granted, it will most likely be moved up; however, there is still adequate time to plan, even if you are a single parent. Does it suck that you have to leave your child for over a year at a time? Absolutely! But, remember married people, as well as single people do it all of the time to fulfill their commitment.

Smile

I also think this is failure to live up to her military committment. 

I know it's hard to be a parent in the military; I've watched my DH leave our DD several times already.  It's his job and we knew that before we had a child.  We have several friends who are or were single parents while in the military (both men and women) and they've had to leave their children, too.  This is also a situation that married couples sometimes face when they both serve in the military.  It's their responsibility to have a plan for who will take care of their children during deployment.  If they can't find someone who can do that, then they need to get out of the military.  You CAN be a good single parent and serve in the military- I've seen it done!  It isn't easy and if you aren't the kind of person who can handle that level of responsibility, then you need to get out of the military.

"We could learn a lot from crayons: some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, some have weird names, and all are different colors... but they all have learned to live in the same box."

Whether you're a parent before you join the military or become one after joining, all members know the "stuff" up front. Military memebers don't get overnight notice of deployment. They're informed well in advance. You make the contract, honor it. Period.

I spent 10 yrs in the Navy, my husband spent 10 yrs in the Navy, he's now on year 6 being in the Army. We've BOTH been deployed at the same time. In my opinion? NO EXCUSES.

this can not happen in our military, people refusing orders, we are at war, she refused an order and should be given harsh jail time as an example. if not, females should be set back to non essential duties.

It is time to stop all fighting and war. No more. Don't play the game of harming others.

 Sorry as a single parent I don't beleive it's as simple as you made a commitment honor it.  If due to circumstances beyond her control (her mother suddenly saying "whoops sorry I can't) etc I don't think it's that simple.  I also think that any single parent who does serve has their priorities pretty darn wackadoodle, but that's my PERSONAL OPINION.  I can't even imagine leaving my son for a week let alone for the length of a deployment.  I am thankful for everyone who serves, I really am, but I can't imagine leaving a child without EITHER parent voluntarily, that seems wrong and crazy to me.

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My brother is in the Army.  When his wife left him, he had to find alternate care for my nieces.  He ended up bringing them home to my Dad and SM while he went to training in GA.  He then asked my mom if she would want to move out to HI and help him with the girls, so he would have someone in place for when he gets deployed. My mom was more than happy to go help him and has been out there for more than a year!!!!  Hey, I would have gone out there!!!!

Yes, he could have gotten out under the hardship rule, but he chose to find alternate care.  He is choosing to honor his commitment, which was made before his wife left. 

You are told your orders far enough in advance to find care.  If you don't, you deserve the punishment you get.  You can't pick and choose which rules you want to follow. 

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Unfortunately, in the military, it really is black and white.  I feel sorry for her, this has to be incredibly hard...have a child on your own and then have to leave.  However, reality is this: she's in the military, had to inform her superiors when she became pregnant and more than likely was receiving counselling prior to her son even being BORN on what her options/obligations were.  So this should not have been a surprise and she had more than enough time to try and find care or try to find a way to leave.  I'm not trying to be heartless to a single parent, but it is what it is.  She may have gotten pregnant ON PURPOSE and yes, it happens all the time.  It is a shame, and I would be heartbroken and torn, but there is no way she was not counselled in this situation. And let me tell you, there are THOUSANDS of other men and women who do not want to have to deploy as they want to be with their children and take care of them, she is no different.   And many of those individuals are also single parents. 

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